I've finally disseminated and concretely grasp the concept that is "the Internet." After countless tutorials on the likes of YouTube and Justin.TV I'm slowly beginning to understand the powers that lurk not only on the Internet, but just below my calvaria.
With that said, yes. I'm still alive. And no, I'm not dating the alcoholic anymore. Although I'm fielding a number of responses from inquiring minds seeking safe-hold advice on how to escape the grips of ye ole' drunken sailors and wenches of the world.
33reasons mailbag
Hi,
I came online today to look for signs that a person is an alcoholic. I am NOT a drinker and I have been dating this guy for ONE month and I am afraid he has a drinking problem. I confronted him 2 weeks ago (2 weeks into the relationship) and of course he says absolutely not...he does not have "a problem" I have never been around "drunks".....but this guy drinks EVERY nite...vodka and any kind of soda. He has cleaned my kitchen decoration which was 12 bottles of wine that I had around for the last 2 years...to me it was strictly "pretty wine bottles"...he opened one every nite until they were gone. I told him he was no longer welcome to drink my "alcohol" and he brought his own bottle the next nights. In a month I have seen him stagger and slur and throw up 3 times....this is a MAN of 37 years...NOT a 21 year old!!! I like him.....I am attracted to him but already I am losing respect and admiration. I am sure he has a problem and Im not really this stupid that I need to ASK you this question but I am in need of venting and also STRENGTH to end this before I get involved. I want to be straight up and let him know why I need to break up...he needs to know that his problem is costing him good things.....
any advice? words of wisdom or encouragement to ACT now?
Dear Venting from Las Vegas,
Dear Venting from Las Vegas,
First look into, and read about "the drama triangle"(google it.) Realize that anytime you're involved with an alcoholic or any addict for that matter, you're in a losing situation(the drama triangle) no matter which way you slice it. The object is to "get out",(it's actually to, "get the FUCK out," really.) and stay out, ultimately striving to be emotionally healthy.
The underlying tone is that addicts are very selfish and sincerely only care for themselves. They'll ALSO do ALL they can to manipulate people into sticking by their side to shoulder the blow of their addictions. The key component for the non-addicted person in the equation is to recognize what is going on and CHOSE not to participate in their problem. Chose to be a little selfish yourself, in doing so, you'll realize you're NOT REALLY being selfish, but merely taking care of your own emotional heath which SHOULD be your number one priority. For either thyself, or for your kids should you have any. Just "Get the fuck out, and don't look back!"
Best of luck!
33reasons
